The Great Forest

Once upon a time there was a Fox in a big forest. He was wild, handsome, witty, fast and strong. He was curious and knew a lot about different things, especially healing herbs. He wandered around the forest exploring, but sometimes he felt very lonely. Fox was alone and even though he was very brave and strong sometimes the shadows from his past haunted him in his nightmares. He managed to get through it but it hurt.

One sunny day Fox met a Hedgehog. Hedgehog was small and prickly, and albeit cute, she didn’t have many friends cause everybody was scared of her spikes. Fox was brave so he came closer, they looked into each other eyes and started laughing and sun shined brighter that day. They both felt an unusual warmth inside, like if something long time lost was finally found. And so they went and wandered together. Fox taught Hedgehog about herbs and other things they met on the way, Hedgehog made him delicious food and while Fox was asleep he hugged him tight and protected him with her spikes from dark nightmares. One day Fox felt that he is not as wild anymore, because wild animals like him don’t make friends with cute hedgehogs, it’s wrong.

So, at night, when Hedgehog was asleep he left. He was crying and sad leaving his beloved Hedgehog but the wilderness was calling him. And so he walked into deep dark woods, and shadows got thicker and scarier, he started drowning in this shadows, it was scary, they were pressing him from every sides whispering scary things. He yelled as strong as he could and Hedgehog heard him, she woke up from a nightmare realizing it was actually what was happening to Fox. She didn’t know where he was but a little spark in her heart showed her the way. And so she ran. Fox was drowning and suffocating in the shadows, he thought he was almost out of breath, but Hedgehog managed to destroy the shadows with her spikes and the Sun came. It was over.

Fox kissed her soft pink belly, hugged her tight and they continued the adventure through the forest together…

A cat, and a tiger
Walking in the forest
They’re very tired.

“This damn forest
If you don’t have a car
You’re fucked!”

Says one of them

“True that
But where the hell would you find a car
In the forest…

You’re just a millenial.”

“Yeah
And how are we supposed to drive them anyway, right?
We’re just felines, at the end of the day.”

“My legs really hurt”

Says the cat.

“And this sun is literally burning me.”

“Have you researched online for a remedy?
We won’t find a car ’round here
But for sure we can put our paws on some good herb!”

So the cat is like

“Mmm kay…”

Shrugging the shoulders
Somehow

And then they search on Google for some herb

They map themselves to a small pond
And it’s the wrong one.

“Dang it.
I thought it was this one, cat
Really
Look at the map!”

“It’s ok
It’s only 5 minutes
Let’s just walk.”

So they reach the bigger pond
The correct one
And there they find a small fountain

It’s a special natural spring
Flowing inside the pond
It’s watering some sort of special floating leaf

It’s a very small leaf
Like a sprout.

They squeeze it and make an ointment
They apply it on the cat’s leg
And BOOM!

“Healed.”

Goes the cat.

It’s a very strong perfume
Aromatic
Smells almost like oregano

Combined with the sunburns
The cat is smelling really really funky right now

Almost,
Almost like a…

The tiger eats the cat.

The end

Everybody was gathered from the Great Forest, to attend to the big event. Snakes, Rats, Boars, Oxes, and even Tigers.

The rules were simple, who bakes the best pie of the arena, gets the prize (a golden pickle-shaped trophy) and the glory.

Rabbit, on the right side, was the Challenger.

Bear, on the left one, was the Champion.

Rabbit wasn’t even very eager to participate in the first place, to tell the complete absolute truth about the matter. All she wanted to do was to bake a good pie for her upcoming picnic with Bat.

Bear was an absolute pie baking machine, instead. While the referee (a Tucan) was reading the rules out loud, she had baked a couple quick pies just to warm up.

And then, GONG.

THERE IT GOES!!! THE ANNUAL PIE BAKING COMPETITION OF THE GREAT FOREST… STARTS NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW

Was loudly announced through the speakers by the commentators. Two cunning looking Scarlet Red Foxes, who would also taste the pies, and be the final judges.

Bear had big paws, but her skills were impressively sharp. She started by launching the dough up in the sky, and slicing it mid-air with her claws (FFFFTZ-FFFFTZ), like a trained ninja warrior.

BEARRRRRRRRRRRRRRIFICC!!!

Cried the Foxes, raptured by the scene.

Rabbit was still reading the online tutorial.

Bear precooked the raspberries, then proceeded to stuff the pies, faster than a lightning. Yes, pies. Her pie of choice this year would in fact be a 5 floors multi-pie, multichromatic with 5 different flavors and a variety of different textures and hidden aromas.

The famous multi-pie will be attempted this year. It is the first time in the competition books, right Donnie? Yes Dunyan, an authentic privilege to be here to witness it happening. A once in a lifetime opportunity.

Rabbit decided to try some chia seeds substitute for the egg. What can go wrong?

After 2 intense hours, the pies were ready.

Now it was time to leave them to take air for a while, so a break was called for everybody.

See you in 25 minutes for the final verdict!

And everybody flooded to the bar.

The time came. The Foxes were salivating over the two boxes, under which two of the most delicious pies of the forest were hidden, soon to be revealed.

3, 2, 1… WAIT A SECOND!!! THE PIES HAD DISAPPEARED!

Everybody was shocked. The Leopards were puzzled. The Giraffes were face palming. The Hyenas, well they were just laughing about it.

Nobody knew what was happening. Nobody ever knew. How would the pies have tasted?  What would the outcome have been? Who would have been the winner?

And to be fair, there is no real answer to these question. Cause the two pies were in truth equally delicious.

Sent from my stolen iPhone,
The Zeebras Gang